A Day of Many Firsts
The first thing to come in this report is a
massive thank you to my crew who got up with me at 3am, who waited patiently
for me at the aid stations and had to deal with my anxious nerves before the
race. I could not have done it without
you all. Most notably Nicole, who
sacrificed a lot to be there with me and had to listen to me talk about this
race (and the plans surrounding it) nearly daily for the last few weeks. Thank you so much, you are such a special
person to me and it meant the world to me to have you there that day.
To spare any suspense, I pulled myself out
of the race at ~56km mark at the 4th Line aid station due to lower back pain. I
had been experiencing this discomfort sporadically over the last few weeks but
decided not to think about it come race day and hoped that day it would be
cleared up and would not affect me.
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| Ready to go! |
Waking up and getting to the start line
The alarm was set for 3:15am but I could
not sleep much longer. I checked my phone and it was 3am so I got up and
started getting food (steel cut oats mixed with Sunbutter) and coffee going. I
got up and noticed a little bit of back pain but chalked it up to the air
mattress I slept on and figured some moving around would clear it up. Nicole, Chad and Ryan got up with me and that
labeled them as the true grinders of the day. We headed over to the start around 4:15am from
our campsite for the 5am start. It was dark
and quiet when we arrived and I found some people I knew (Emrys, Robin, Adam,
Jason, Darren) which helped calm my nerves a bit. I was ready to go. I felt good and knew it was going to be a
tough day but I didn't know how tough at the time.
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| The GRINDERS |
The first loop
Once the race started, only about 50m from
the start line we started experiencing mud and wet conditions. I thought: "it's
just the bottom of the hill and it's just accumulating here. No big
deal..." As we hit The Grind, I was
running/sloppy hiking the mud with Darren, chatting a bunch and the kilometers
were clicking off nicely. I thought to
myself at one point: "this is all real now, you're running it. Just enjoy
the day and keep plugging away!" and I did as we moved off The Grind onto
the next section of much more run-able trail. I could see the lead pack as I made my way
through that section with a smile on my face.
I was feeling great, then suddenly my first
problem: I took a trail in the wrong direction. I wasn't the only one either. Me and three others took a right when we
should have taken a left because the markers weren't clear there. I went off
course probably 300m and realized I should go back and make sure I was on the
right track. I saw the other three runners taking various trails as they went
in the wrong direction too. I had yelled
out a "fuck!" when I realized my error and tried to regroup and keep
going. The four of us carried on,
cursing that right turn. We got strung
out a bit during the next section as we plugged on.
The morning was beautiful for running,
though quite warm out from the humidity.
The wooden bridges were slick from the moisture and mud on your shoes. I slipped on one and jammed my shoulder into
the railing, "whatever, it's not my legs," I thought. I got into
Cruiser aid station and saw my crew there. I was feeling really good and only stopped for
a bit to get another handheld and ditch my headlamp. The kilometers clicked off nicely, and soon
enough I had covered over 20km. Then we
hit some pretty brutal sections - the Loree side trail was horrendously muddy
and required a lot of hiking to try to conserve energy and get proper footing.
This would pretty much be the story of the day: MUD.
I approached 30km with David Wise, an
extremely nice man who I chatted with a lot and gained a lot of knowledge from.
I had actually watched his video from the race last year too to get a better
idea of the course and recognized his voice from it. I could feel some fatigue
in my legs but nothing I wasn't ready for.
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| An amazing picture by David Wise with me coming up behind him after the we went the wrong way. He didn't get lost though! He helped me a lot out there too with tips |
There were some decent climbs and descents,
but I handled them well and approached another very muddy section. You almost had to crawl up this steep section
to get to the top. I was now getting close to 38km, the point I would see my
crew again. A lot of rain in the week forced them to move the aid station and apparently
for some reason did not allow the runners to go through the section where the
drop bags were during the second pass of Cruiser. I'm still puzzled over this.
As I got to an exit from a trail onto a ski
hill, I could hear voices. "This must be the aid station!" I thought.
As I got closer, I could hear the familiar
voices of Chad and Nicole, talking with the people manning the aid station
about when they expected me. "He should be here around 9am," said
Chad. I popped out of the trail at 8:50am and said: "Are you guys talking
about me?" and the crew and aid station people erupted with an "Ohhhh!!!
There he is!" This was one of my
favourite moments of the race. They all
said I looked fresh, and Nicole put on Outkast's 'So Fresh, So Clean' as I previously
requested. I saw Kevin and Fiana there
too for the first time which was great. They all encouraged me to keep powering on and
they would see me around 52km back at Cruiser on my second loop. Little did I know my race would go downhill
(figuratively and literally) from here. We
had a loooong descent to the bottom of the hill to start up the second loop
from the 40km aid station called Blue Loop. I tried to save my legs going down the hill
and was doing a lot of bobbing up and down which I noticed was pretty taxing on
my back.
The second loop
I had completed the first loop (40km) in ~4hrs
and at this point the marathon runners were just starting. I wondered what The
Grind would look like now that so many runners had been on it. I had my answer:
insane mud. It was crazy, and being stuck
behind with marathoners forced me to slow and hike through the ankle-deep mud
trying to keep my footing. Several
people fell on this section and I knew it would be a slow climb - my back was
now starting to really get to me as I was hunched over trying to hike the
switchbacks. I popped out and saw Emrys
again, and jokingly told him that I hoped I would survive. I was in significant
discomfort on the descent on Scenic Caves Rd into the next section of trail.
Earlier in the race, this was where I felt
amazing and positive. This time around it was the first time I had ever
experienced the dark place, and tears
flowed a few times as I started reflecting on how I thought I had failed my
friends and myself and really just wanted to drop out at that point. I told myself that I would just call it a day
once I got to Cruiser again (at 51.2km mark) and saw my crew... but they had
different plans for me.
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| Give me a friggin' chair please |
As I arrived, I immediately wanted to sit
down and take some pressure of my back muscles and put my head in my hands for
a while. I was completely beat down at
this point knowing what was still ahead of me: some pretty tough climbs and even
more mud. I hinted that I thought my day
was over, but my crew would not let me drop there. Chad was ready to hop in and pace me too. I am so thankful for their encouragement to
get me going, even though it was like talking to a brick wall, as Chad had put
it. All six of them giving me positive
encouragement and telling me that I could not quit there. One of the race officials came over as well
and said some kind words, and followed it up with: "..or you probably just
want all of us to shut the fuck up," which made me smile and laugh. That
gave me the energy to get up and keep going, but alas, it was not my day.
Chad and I left Cruiser and moved at a
decent pace for the next little bit, but my back pain just did not stop from
all the hunching over and finding my footing in the mud, and I finally called
it a day at the next aid station (mile 35/56km) and got a ride back down the
mountain to the med tent to get checked out for any structural damage. There was none, just extremely over-worked
muscles. In hindsight, I'm glad I
stopped as the following days I was met a very stiff and painful lower back.
I do know that I need to get stronger and
work even harder for the next one and I certainly have unfinished business at
Blue Mountain - I will be back next year, there is no doubt.
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| Afterward, we headed off to my cottage for some beers and fun. The boys jumped in the hot tub and that made my back feel much better (or was it the beers?) |
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After the race, I was overcome with a minor
bout of depression regarding the race. It required a lot of planning leading up
to it, and now it was over. It came and went...and I didn't finish. This was my first true battle with post-race
blues. I wrote this report on the
following Monday on my way to work and I couldn't help but still feel down
about it all. As I was walking into work
(I work in a lab at Princess Margaret Cancer Centre as a summer research
student), I saw a woman who had been undergoing chemotherapy and looked very
weak and frail - but was still fighting. This moment put everything in perspective for
me: I'm alive, I'm healthy, and I can keep running and working hard toward my
goals. There should be nothing to dwell on when the opportunities are still
there. I have now set my sights on
another goal and know this is certainly not my last ultra.
So it was a day of many firsts: first 50+km
run, first time using a crew, first forest dump (pleasant thought eh?), first
time in the dark place, and first
time I'd ever experience post-race blues, all of which are part of the learning
curve of ultras... and I really did love it all. The fire rages on inside me to try again.
Again, some special thanks go out to my
amazing crew - Nicole, Chad, Ryan, Ali, Fiana and Kevin - it meant so much to
have you guys there supporting me. Best
crew any runner could ask for. I will gladly return the favour to any of you!
-MJB
